It’s been a few months since I’ve blogged (apologies for the radio silence!). I’ve been trying to concentrate on the Post-Grad I’m currently doing which has meant dedicating any free time to write my assignments. I’ve now handed the first one in (hurrah!). The next one is due in September and so I should *technically* be writing that right now but there’s just been so much going on recently which have prompted me to get writing again…
1. I’ve just been on a fabulous childfree holiday
We have just returned from Gozo; a really small island off the coast of Malta. Two of our friends got married there last week and me, Mr.T and four of our friends made a holiday out of it by booking a villa for a week. It was wonderful. An amazing setting and just the perfect wedding for our friends.
The subject of being childfree came up quite a bit on the trip; from the flight where there (and back) we had restless children and exhausted-looking parents either in front of behind us, to our many long days of drinking, blissful quiet by the pool and general carefree fun where the thought; “THANK GOODNESS WE DON'T HAVE KIDS!” was never far from our minds.
At the pool party after the wedding I also heard the classic childfree bingo phrase: ‘You’ll change your mind one day’. Funny thing is – the woman that said this also said in the next breath; “I’m so glad my daughter is 13 now so she doesn’t need looking after and I can have a good time on holiday”.
Go figure. (Full blog post about the joys of childfree holidays coming soon!)
2. I recently watched ‘I am Hannah’
The show was the third in a mini-series on Channel 4. Every episode centred on one woman and a particular issue. Hannah (played by the amazing Gemma Chan) is a single thirty-something, playing the online-dating game and unsure of what she really wants; in life, in love and on the children front. I loved the way the drama created such an honest portrayal of a young woman considering her personal choices for the future and experiencing the pressures from mainstream society (and parents). I was so pleased with the ending too – not the lazy ‘lets-make-her-pregnant’ ending, but something far more intelligent and realistic.
Bravo Shane Meadows. (Watch the trailer now)
3. We left our cat Brian alone (for the longest time so far)
Whilst we were on holiday, our lovely neighbour looked after our cat Brian. We’ve never left him for a week before and were concerned about how he’d feel being in the house all alone (he’s primarily a housecat and only goes outside when we’re home and never wanders too far) as well as how he’d cope with someone he didn’t know that well coming in twice a day to feed him. I don’t think a day went by when either me or Mr. T didn’t say “I wonder what Brian is doing now?”.
There were times we shared pictures of our cat Brian with others and showed genuine excitement when our neighbour sent pictures and updates of how he was doing. It got me thinking about the guilt and concern parents must feel when they leave their children at home/with others whilst at work or for breaks away. I’m so thankful I don’t have that to deal with on top of everything else. Luckily, our neighbour loves Brian nearly as much as we do so we knew he was in safe hands.
4. Harry and Meghan announced they were only having two kids, max
I’m not one of the childfree community not having kids for environmental reasons – but I totally appreciate the reasoning. I blogged about the environmental impact of having one less child earlier in the year. I think it’s great that such a high-profile couple are talking about the massive elephant in the room when it comes to climate change; over-population. I really hope they go the whole hog and adopt the second child – then they would really be practising what they preach.
5. A friend of a friend gave birth to a baby via a sperm donor
The friend, let’s call her Jenny, gave birth to a beautiful baby boy in July. Jenny is gorgeous, successful, lovely – and single. Jenny really wanted to be a mum and didn’t want to wait, so she went it alone. In the same month Jenny gave birth, Australian pop star Natalie Imbruglia also announced that she is pregnant via a sperm donor. I think it is so amazing that women are writing their own rules around motherhood – some want it and will fight for it no matter what, some women don’t.
We need to tell these different stories – it’s not all boy meets girl, boy and girl get married, girl has baby. Sometimes boy and girl don’t want babies. Sometimes it’s boy meets boy or girl meets girl; and sometimes they have babies. And sometimes it’s just girl meets baby.
It’s been a bit of a brain dump this week, but I’m easing myself out of essay-writing mode and into blogging again. Would love to hear your thoughts on the topics above!
Mrs. T x
What I did this this week: After a fabulous holiday for our friend’s wedding, I only had two days back at work before attending another gorgeous wedding for another couple of friends. They got married on a Thursday which meant a lovely long 4 day weekend. It was so lovely to see 4 friends tie the knot in just two weeks! I bloody love a good wedding!
What I didn’t do: Lose my shit with my kids. Or read a book called ‘How to stop losing your shit with your kids’; which is a new book out now by Carla Naumberg. I read an interview with her about the book on HuffPost which was annoying (and patronising) enough – and that’s from a non-parent. But, judge for yourself here.